Apomo

Ok, at best this strikes me as incredibly schticky. Like Cal Worthington and his dog Spot trying to sell me a used car or something. I get the feeling that this whole thing is more about getting his name and the church in the paper than it is about reverence for the Bible. At worst, it’s just downright kooky to think that burying a Bible has any sort of meaning.

I don’t know. It’s just plain embarrassing. Kind of like when one of the members from this guys church came to my office, plopped down in a chair and declared “I was driving by and the Lord told me to come and get insurance here!” The guy didn’t know me from Adam. Why would he think it’s wise to just blurt something out like that. I was so embarrassed I told him I didn’t attend church even though at the time I did.

Now I’m a little nervous to be honest with you because my 8 yr. old’s school teacher attends this guy’s church.]]>

Then I read in today’s paper about a local UPC pastor who wrote a book called “So You Want to be Blessed!”. It’s a small town so local authors of any sort are regularly interviewed. They did a Q&Q type interview with him. Some of his answers give clues as to why UPC churches tend to be small.

Q: How many people attend services each week?
A: About 100.

??? That seems to be a little…um…evangelastically speaking. Not an honest answer which makes him and the church look dishonest. Insecure maybe?

Q: How does {church name} differ from other Protestant churches?
A: We’re affiliated with the United Pentecostal Church. We believe in strictly adhering to Jesus and the Apostles no matter how unpopular they become. 

Is he implying that all other Protestant churches don’t adhere to Jesus and the Apostles? Elitist? Is he also implying that Jesus is unpopular and the church he pastors is unpopular as a result? Seems a rather negative view of Jesus and his church. I smell an “us vs. them” attitude and I sense some real insecurity, defensiveness in his answer to this question.

He elaborates that his book is based on four habits that a blessed person will incorporate into their daily living. Three of the four habits are framed in a negative, as in things the person WON’T do.  It seems telling to me that he frames his argument in a negative, a “thou shalt NOT”. I realize the 10 commandments are phrased this way, but is there anything wrong with framing these habits in a positive way? Maybe I’m just being picky. I don’t think so, I think it illustrates how they look at everything, how so much in their view is seen from a negative point of view. THOU SHALT NOT!!!

Q: Do you have any plans to write more books?
A: I’m in the process of finishing another book right now. It’s a call to embrace the original demands of Jesus and the Apostles. Many people have gone away from some of the core demands. For example, we don’t hear much about repentance these days. Repentance is basically asking God to forgive us, but we do not repent. “Repentance” means “change” yet you don’t hear much about that.

Again, he comes across as terribly elitist and arrogant. Not to mention that he views the commands of Jesus in a negative context evidenced by his term “demands”. He makes it sound as if Jesus is some dictator who demands this and that from his subjects. Then he implies again that other churches don’t preach repentance or life change. What an arrogant point of view! Plus, the last two sentences of his statement contradict each other and don’t make much sense.

So, back to my client’s original question. Why are UPC churches so small, generally speaking? (Even the large ones are small compared to other groups large churches. You could take the five largest UPC churches combined and they’d still be smaller than Rick Warren’s church, or Bill Hybels, or Joel Osteen’s or a myriad of other churches that don’t preach repentance.)

They seem to think, as evidenced by this guy’s interview, that it’s their doctrine that people don’t like. People don’t like to live the Christian life so they reject the UPC message. I disagree. People are more than willing to give up stuff if they think it’s the right thing to do. People are less hedonistic and more disciplined than most UPC preachers give them credit for.

I think the problem is the leadership and their skewed point of view. As this guy does, they tend to come across as elitist, arrogant, slightly bitter, insecure bunch of guys with a somewhat combative “us vs. them”, short man’s complex. I heard it all my life while I was in the group. I think this pervasive insecurity and the framing of the good news in a negative context is what turns people off. I think that thinking people are exposed to this spirit and it turns them away and they look for something more positive and enriching. Hopefully they find that in another church. 

I generally don’t bother with this sort of stuff any more. But for some reason this situation just got on my nerves when I read it. I think I’m still bothered at how so many of those guys insist on shooting themselves in the foot.

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1) You don’t have to try to fix somebody, or even hope to fix them, in order to love them. Perhaps this understanding will remove judgementalism and elitism from relationships.

2) Perhaps the death of certain dreams is on the path of humility and contentment. Maybe not so much the death of dreams but the reassignment of them to category of hopes instead of imperatives. Imperatives measure self-worth and “success”. Hopes are bonuses, icing on the cake so to speak. If we don’t realize an imperative then we’re crushed, depressed, defeated, unfulfilled. If we don’t realize a hope, no worries, life is good.
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He quotes Alan Jones again…

“The first sign [of the dark night of the soul] is that we no longer have any pleasure or consolation either in God or in creation. Nothing pleases us. Nothing touches us. Everything and everyone seem dull an uninteresting.  Life is dust and ashes in the mouth. The second sign is an abiding and biting sense of failure, even though the believer tries to center her life on God, There is a sense of of never having done enough and needing to atone for something that has no name.

The third sign, and the one that is most threatening to us today, is that it is no longer possible to pray or meditate with the imagination. Images, pictures, and metaphors no longer seem to reach us. God (if he is there) no longer communicates with us through the senses. In more modern terms, it is a matter of living from a center other than the ego. Even to begin to do this is to enter a great darkness, a new kind of light or illumination comes; and through it our relationship with God, although more hidden than before, becomes deeper and more direct.”

Boy, doesn’t that just sum up spirit of this blog?]]>

“The ”dark night“ is a very real place, as anyone who has been there will tell you. Alan Jones calls it ”the second conversion.“ While the first conversion was characterized by joy and enthusiasm and filled with felt consolation and a profound sense of God’s presence, the second is marked by dryness, barrenness, desolation, and a profound sinse of of God’s absence. The dark night is an indespensable stage of spiritual growth for the individual Christian and the church.

Merton writes: There is an absolute need for the solitary, bare, dark, beyond-thought, beyond-feeling type of prayer…Unless that dimension is there in the church somewhere, the whole caboodle lacks life and light and intelligence. It is a kind of hidden, secret, unknown stabilizer and compass too. About this I have no hesitation or doubts.

Though painful, the purification of the ego in the dark night is the high road to Christian freedom and maturity. In fact, it is often an answer to prayer.”

How very true, very true. I’ve found this to be so true in my own experience the last three years. The dark night periods of life, the desert experiences, are absolutely the Dickenosque best of times and worst of times. Such a paradox, but so powerful. You find out who you are,  you find out who God is. You find faith, you find humilty, you find prayer in the dark night. It becomes a walk of faith, not in the experience of God but in God Himself. If we don’t go through these dark nights then life is comparatively single dimensional.]]>

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I pray too for a client of ours who called earlier. Her apartment burned down and her car was repossessed today. She lost everything in 24 hours. I could tell she was scared.]]>

Felt like a stolen goods fencer completing an Ebay deal out of the back of my SUV in the parking lot. Sold an Xbox for a friend and the buyer lived near my doc.

Was raining cats and dogs on my way back. Had a great time rocking out to U2. Had the volume turned WAY up! Surprised myself that I can hit most of the notes in “With or Without You” and “Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”.

2) Had planned to go to Tahoe for Christmas. But the whole family is sick. May just stay home. I’ll take my kid to go see King Kong Saturday. Wonder if In-N-Out Burger will be open? haha.

3) Bought my Yamaha guitar online a couple days ago. Should be here next week. Got the guitar, bag, tubular stand, picks, extra strings, DVD/Book and digital tuner for $155 at musiciansfriend.com. Thanks Ryan for the lead. My sister bought me a nice how-to-play-the-guitar book too. Thanks Heidi. I’m really looking forward to learning to play.

4) Got my Eminem and Jay-Z cd’s earlier this week. Jay-Z is a punk but Em makes me laugh until I cry. Way too funny! Think I’ll get some Paul Wall and Mike Jones next since I like the slow screwed H-town sound.  Em’s track for his daughter was really good. I felt that one. I’ll get some more Em too.

5) Ordered a Lennon and a Dylan “best of” cds. Got a cool DVD about the Joshua Tree album, lots of good interviews with Bono, Edge, Larry, Adam, Daniel Lanois, Brian Eno, Flood, and Paul McGuinness. Even had an Ali cameo. Still waiting for the Slane Castle DVD to arrive. Got the Toad album “Dulcinea”, but haven’t had a chance to listen to it yet.
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Poison runs through my veins, like a virus

I’m sorry, I judge you, I cut you

A toxin, it’s in my DNA

Can’t shake it, it’s in the string

As I smile, I hug your neck

The poison runs free, flows in my heart

Cut ‘em off,I have no hands, no feet

I love you, yes, I love you.

Pray for the anti-dote, the cure

I want to be free, rid of it’s furor

As I explode you, as I bleed on you

I hurt with you, even as I hurt you.

Found the poison in the bride

I look pretty, but it’s hard to hide

It’s hate, it’s poison, it’s pride

It’s the wound in the side

I’ve found grace, the light

Such strange light, baby.

Want to be full of light, free of the stain

Please pray for peace, peace on earth.